custard skin and kissing thighs

I remember that the custard came in a big, white jug at Ashfield, and they always gave me the skin off the top, because I always asked for it. Also, a kid fell off the back of my trike one day in the garden there and twatted his head off the floor. I told him it would happen but he wouldn't listen, the muppet.
Other than that, I remember very little of being very little. There was one day that Mrs Loony bought me a Blue Ribbon chocolate bar, but that's hardly riveting. Weird how I remember the brand though.
However, my clearest memories of infant school are much more telling...they're all about sex and drugs, basically.
I went to Wingrove Infants school in Fenham, a kick in the arse away up the hill opposite our house.
I cried and kicked the school-room door on the first day, I remember, but they just let me kick and whine myself into exhaustion. I had been trapped by The Man for the very first time.
Just like the Pictures of Lily in the Who song of the same name, though,Mrs Snodgrass made everything alright. Everything about her - apart from her clumsy, ugly name - was perfect, and I remember the day that I kissed her smooth thighs like it was yesterday, he said, misting over.

We were all stood in a line to leave class and I was at the head of the queue, pushed up close to Mrs Snodgrass's mini-skirted legs.
As she addressed the class behind me, I couldn't stop myself. I leant forward and kissed her on the thigh, just below the hem of her skirt. I kissed first one thigh, then the other. The other kids erupted into laughter, and I can see her now, looking down at my four-year-old self and smiling gently at me. Even today, I have a weakness for straight-haired blondes in mini-skirts. Aye, me and every other fucker...